Monday, July 12, 2010

Merry Meet,

It has been quite some time since I have been able to journal.  I laid my precious Daisy to rest on Friday night. The last year was a very difficult journey for us and the last month even more so. Friday night I was forced to make a decision to end her pain and suffering.  A decision that went against everything I believed in, but I do believe she would have left me that night anyway. It came to where her pain and suffering drove me to abandon my morals at that point and do what I thought was in her best interest.  I thank the Goddess for giving me the strength to do it.   I don't want to write about her struggles in the last few months or what she and I went through together leading up to her final moments.  I instead want to celebrate the time that we did have together and work towards the healing that I so desperately need at this time. 

I had Daisy for 14 years.  She was the first Dog that I chose myself.  In essence she was my first child. :) Her and I have been pretty much inseperable over the past 14 years.  Daisy loved car rides and the ocean.  She had an amazing strength and courage throughout her life that I will always admire.  Daisy spoke with her eyes.  She could look at me across the room and speak volumes.  She has been my rock throughout the years.  Daisy was with me through the births of both my children and countless other events in my life where she was truly my best friend. 

The night Daisy left me I had a very hard time sleeping.  I did manage to go to sleep.  I woke up in the middle of the night to what I could swear was the sound of her panting.  I got out of bed and walked around the house thinking it a dream.  As I laid back down I am confident I heard it again.  The sound lulled me back to sleep that night. 

The day after Daisy left me was especially painful for me.  I found myself struggling to maintain a normal life and be strong for my childrens sake.  That morning I received a message from someone who had not contacted me in almost 2 years.  He knew nothing of what I had been through.  He had taken a song that I sang almost 2 years ago and set it to a video to send to me.  The song was "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion.  The lyrics on that song were unbelievably fitting and I cannot help but think that had to have been a sign for me and not just a coincidence.  There were several other small signs for me throughout the day as well.  It felt as if she was somehow trying to tell me that I did make the right decision and that she was better now and she would still be with me.  I can only hope. 

Love and Blessings to my beautiful baby.  You will forever be missed and remain within my heart. 

My Heart Will Go On

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

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Thank you for stopping by :))) Love and Blessings, Jasmeine Moonsong

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