Merry Meet :)))
So it has taken me a little bit to finish my final exam for my Priestess Degree. It can be a bit of a challenge to find quiet free time with 2 little ones running about. However it was about more then that as well. I took longer then the year and a day allowed for the first degree. There were lessons that I wound up spending additional time with to ensure that I was completely comfortable with the material as well as the lessons that I was learning about myself.
I actually think a huge part of the learning with my degree lay within one of the four prices of freedom that we believe. The fourth one states "4. A willingness to face the most frightening of all beings, one’s own self: No one is perfect. To be able to see the world clearly we must be willing to see ourselves clearly. To acknowledge where our darkness lies and acknowledge what makes us who we are." In order for me to be able to submit my final exam I had to come to terms with this first. It has been a long journey but I am there. :) I will continue to work on this and everything else as well.
As I was finishing my final exam, we had to submit three 500 word essays of Sabbats that we had attended. Funny enough the main essay I was looking for, the essay for my first Sabbat, Samhain in 2008 was missing. Whyyyyyyy, I have no idea. So I was presented with two options, either write it on the Samhain I just attended or choose to write it on that one. I remember that Sabbat, my first one as clear as it was yesterday, so I chose to do that. I thought it would be fitting to share the essay for that Sabbat here. ;) You'll see why once you read it. :))))) And with this I finish my final exam!!!
Whooooooooooo hooooooooooo! *does the happy dance* lol :))))
Samhain 2008 was the first Sabbat that I had ever attended, and it is one that I will never forget. It’s funny I looked everywhere for the essay that I wrote for this Sabbat and it has gone missing. I do believe everything happens for a reason though and I find it rather fitting that I write an essay about this ritual for my final exam. J
I remember sitting down to my computer a pure bundle of nerves not knowing what to expect and knowing that my Wiccan future in essence depended on how comfortable I felt during this Sabbat. I was hoping I would be as comfortable during the ritual as I had been made to feel in my new home at the Mists and that hope was not only met but solidified my Wiccan path.
Triple Sidh wrote the meditation for that night and it was my first experience with a guided meditation as well. I had made sure that everything was prepared to have the house nice and quiet and I relaxed watching the meditation unfold in front of me. She started us out at a dead end street just before sunset. She began to describe childhood memories of trick or treating and I instantly relaxed with the images of jack-o-lanterns and black cats from my past. She then began leading us into the forest in front of us. “You know that tonight, this is the place that you need to be” she said. How true those word would ring for me as I look back upon this Sabbat today. She started our walk through the woods and stopped under a large Oak tree.
“When you reach the Oak, you feel a presence. This presence is very familiar to you and you feel at peace. This is what you have been waiting for.” At this moment tears just started to stream from my eyes as they are right now remembering this moment. My grandfather was there. Crystal clear. Standing in front of me. I could see him, I could feel him, I felt his strong embrace and just basked in the knowledge and pure overwhelming emotion of his pillar of strength in front of me. A door had been swung open for me. I had not seen my grandfather since the day he took his last breath and I told him how much I loved him in the hospital.
What an amazing gift. One of the most emotional moments of my life as I realized that even though someone had left the physical realm they were still accessible. My entire life I had been in fear of death and had been searching for answers, confirmation that yes indeed life went on and here he was standing in front of me. I can still feel him around me to this day and am quite happy to have him help to guide me. It also opened the door for me to be able to feel others who have crossed.
That night, that moment, changed my life in so many ways. So yes I find it a little ironic that my essay I’m quite sure I wrote has gone missing and I was to rewrite it for you today. As write the final sentence for my final degree I think it’s quite symbolic that it is of the moment that solidified my journey on my Wiccan path.