Thursday, July 29, 2010

Coincidence?

Merry Meet :)

Was the most amazing beautiful day outside today.  It was really hot but there was this really cool breeze coming through that made it a perfect day to be outside. In the afternoon I had a really amazing experience. We have a family of hawks that live in the field up behind my house.  I've seen them a lot but never up close.  I love that they are and enjoy watching them fly around way overhead.  The hawk is very special to me as it is one of my spirit guides.

Today one of the hawks came so close I was just astounded.  I was sitting in the front yard watching the kids and she flew in wings huge as she soared over my head.  Her beauty truly took my breath away.  Her belly and head were completely white and she had brownish gray spots running along her back.  She was close enough that I saw that she had a red tail.  So I now know what type of hawk she is.   She looked almost exactly like the one in the picture, but a bit more white.  She sat on a tree in my front yard staring at me for what must have been a good 15 minutes.  My daughter and son and I just sat on the grass in the front yard under the tree watching her.  Was just a breathtaking uplifting experience for me.   I am still amazed at how close she got to us. :))))

An additional thing that's been happening over the last three days is I have been seeing tons of dragonflies.  I have never seen so many in my life! lol All different colors and in the strangest of places.  I actually saw 3 in parking lots in the last few days.  I have definitely seen more in the last 3 days then I have in my life. I'm not sure if it's some sort of season for them or not? lol Curious I looked up the meaning of them on my animal totem application on my iphone. :) "The dragonfly symbolizes going past self-created illusions that limit our growing and changing.
Dragonflies are a symbol of the sense of self that comes with maturity."  There was more than that as well.  Have been dealing with some really intense issues in my life lately so the symbolism I read on the dragonfly astounded me how well it matched up. 

Something happened tonight to me that I thought was rather crazy. I had to take a stool sample for my new pup Max to the vet.  Was by myself and the plan was just to drop it off and get the results tomorrow before we leave to Maine on vacation.  I was by myself.  As I got into the vet they asked if I would like to stay for the results.  I was a bit hesitant as the last time I was there I was with Daisy before I put her to sleep.  I wanted the results though so decided to stay.  I settled into a spot on the bench and started reading an ebook on my phone.  I sat there for about 20 minutes.  In that 20 minutes I saw 6 labradors come in.  The only 6 dogs to come in while I was sitting there and every single one was a lab and looked like a much older lab.  Two were black the other four were yellow and I'm pretty sure all of them were males.  My veterinarian is a pretty small office so this alone kinda set me to thinking.

After 20 minutes I got Max's results, he's fine. :) So I went to check out.  The check out area is in a bit of a different area from the waiting room.  The girl gave me the medicine for Max.  I said thank you and told her I was a bit paranoid as I had just lost my labrador of 14 years.  She said something back to me but I didn't even hear it because at that moment the door opened.  A old yellow lab who looked like a male walked in with six people.  The boy had his arms wrapped around the dog's neck and was hunched over hugging him as the dog walked in slowly to a room right behind me.  They were all crying.  The dog was very very peaceful much like Daisy was in her last days.  It was crystal clear to me that they were going to put this dog to sleep. The vet ushered them into the room and closed the door.  They used a door that was an exit.  Had I not been standing in that spot signing my credit card bill I would've never seen it.    Tears immediately sprang to my eyes and I said I was sorry to the girl waiting on me and I bolted out the door.  Didn't want to be seen crying.

As I drove away the impact of everything that happened in that half hour hit me.  My favorite number is six.  I mean what are the odds of all that occuring? Tomorrow will be three weeks since I put my Daisy to sleep.  Coincidence?

Between the hawk, the dragonfly and what happened tonight I am in awe of all the signs and symbolism surrounding my life and my dedication to my path.

Love and Blessings

Monday, July 19, 2010

Lesson 13 - More Pagan Living

I have finally completed Lesson 13 on Pagan Living.  Took me over 2 months on this lesson.  I was stuck on a couple questions on composing my own rituals but I honestly think that maybe because of what I was going through with Daisy it was the familiar section that was holding me up.  In any event.  I felt ready to go back today and finish the essay questions that I had been putting off.  Funny that they looked much easier today then they did then. :)))

I loved the section on familiars.  I spent a bit of time this afternoon learning more about them.  I didn't realize before this lesson that there was a difference between familiars and animal spirit guides.  I suppose I should have but never made the connection. :))) I already did some work before with discovering my animal spirit guides using a druid meditation and loved the results.  I have found myself calling upon them several times lately for assistance.  Especially my dear white wolf. 

I am fascinated that a witch's familiar is chosen by the familiar not the witch.  I can only hope that I am lucky enough to be chosen by one to work with me at some point.  Maybe the little ball of fluff in my living room will want to work with me some day.  He has all the traits that would help, sensitive loving and intelligent.  We missed the black in color though :))) I know the lessons says that doesn't matter though.  In any event I will keep an open mind and open heart to whomever my future familiar is. I absolutely love animals and would love to have a familiar of my own. :))) 

So on this day of new beginnings for me I feel like a weight has been lifted as I can finally submit Lesson 13.  It was really bothering me that I was not submitting it as I was hoping to graduate in July.  I will get there though. :)))))

Love and Blessings,

Jasmeine Moonsong

A New Beginning

Merry Meet

Thank you to everyone for your support in my time of loss. It is appreciated more then you know ))

I feel as if the dark cloud lurking over my house is finally being lifted. We found a furbaby to welcome home into our family again. We were definitely ready. The joy he is bringing to us already is amazing. My children are very happy and have taken him in with open arms. He is a 8 week old Golden Retriever and he is amazing. I spent a lot of time with both of his parents when I picked him out. Both parents were amazing. It just felt so right. He has this way of looking at me that reminds me of Daisy. Just full of love and calm. He seems to communicate with his eyes like Daisy did as well. I am confident that we made the right decision in bringing him home last night. Here's a picture of Max

The night before we got Max I was playing outside with my children and our neighbors. It was getting ready to storm, the sky was all gray. All of a sudden my daughter pointed at the sky as the biggest rainbow I have ever seen in my life appeared. It spanned my entire back yard was a complete rainbow. It lasted 5 minutes and got so brilliant in color we all just stopped and stared at it. My daughter was the most excited about it. She said "Look there's rainbow bridge, that's where Daisy went" she then proceeded to say hi to Daisy and tell her that she loved her. I had told her about Daisy crossing rainbow bridge to the summerlands and how every time she saw a rainbow it meant that Daisy was thinking of her.

I find it ironic that the very next day we found Max. It was a sign of hope and love that better times were coming for us.


Monday, July 12, 2010

Merry Meet,

It has been quite some time since I have been able to journal.  I laid my precious Daisy to rest on Friday night. The last year was a very difficult journey for us and the last month even more so. Friday night I was forced to make a decision to end her pain and suffering.  A decision that went against everything I believed in, but I do believe she would have left me that night anyway. It came to where her pain and suffering drove me to abandon my morals at that point and do what I thought was in her best interest.  I thank the Goddess for giving me the strength to do it.   I don't want to write about her struggles in the last few months or what she and I went through together leading up to her final moments.  I instead want to celebrate the time that we did have together and work towards the healing that I so desperately need at this time. 

I had Daisy for 14 years.  She was the first Dog that I chose myself.  In essence she was my first child. :) Her and I have been pretty much inseperable over the past 14 years.  Daisy loved car rides and the ocean.  She had an amazing strength and courage throughout her life that I will always admire.  Daisy spoke with her eyes.  She could look at me across the room and speak volumes.  She has been my rock throughout the years.  Daisy was with me through the births of both my children and countless other events in my life where she was truly my best friend. 

The night Daisy left me I had a very hard time sleeping.  I did manage to go to sleep.  I woke up in the middle of the night to what I could swear was the sound of her panting.  I got out of bed and walked around the house thinking it a dream.  As I laid back down I am confident I heard it again.  The sound lulled me back to sleep that night. 

The day after Daisy left me was especially painful for me.  I found myself struggling to maintain a normal life and be strong for my childrens sake.  That morning I received a message from someone who had not contacted me in almost 2 years.  He knew nothing of what I had been through.  He had taken a song that I sang almost 2 years ago and set it to a video to send to me.  The song was "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion.  The lyrics on that song were unbelievably fitting and I cannot help but think that had to have been a sign for me and not just a coincidence.  There were several other small signs for me throughout the day as well.  It felt as if she was somehow trying to tell me that I did make the right decision and that she was better now and she would still be with me.  I can only hope. 

Love and Blessings to my beautiful baby.  You will forever be missed and remain within my heart. 



My Heart Will Go On

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

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